Right-Wing Extremists

Benja-whose?

   

Gay's What?

I could take a wild guess as to why, but I wouldn't want to embarrass you publicly.
                       

Is Our Children Learning?

But mostly, let's just focus on the writing. That seems to be the most difficult.
         

Personal Responsibility?

No, you're living with your parents because you spent four years in college smoking pot and watching your boyfriend play Halo. Then you scared him off by making that face.

Credit Where Credit Is Due

He doesn't want big words either, but he did spell "guvmit" correctly, so I'm impressed.

 

'Murica, Yum-O!

The "ingriedts" are very important, so keep in mind that you must use GOD GoLD,  the regular stuff just won't do. And you'll need 8 Guns, no more and no less, to pull off this recipe. Good luck!